I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
