Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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