Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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