we're chasing vodka with high fives
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
