i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
