i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
