PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
If its not for food we ain't going out.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
