I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
