you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
