we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
