Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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