You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
