i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
we should paint friendship bongs
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