im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Boobs speak an international language.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
