Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
