I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize