Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize