he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
