I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
