idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
