My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
