Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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