I puked a lego.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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