Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
