i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
