He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
