she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
