remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
