Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
