I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
