Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
