well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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