I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
