ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Boobs are out for the taking
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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