Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
