hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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