While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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