Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
