i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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