the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
im six kinds of drunk right now
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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