saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
