i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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