yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
