R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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