I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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