The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
