Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
jump out the window naked night went bad
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
