I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
