I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
