she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Randomize
