I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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