Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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