guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize