I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
that is very illegal...i love you.
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