If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
