Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
