How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
