You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
