The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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