She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
