Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
